


The Kiss of Death Will Have To Wait

by teamcalebmalphas



Series: Save Me [1]
Category: chronicles of nick
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Thoughts of Suicide, attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 01:32:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10606530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teamcalebmalphas/pseuds/teamcalebmalphas
Summary: What if Brynna had been absent on the day that Nick thought about jumping off the Pontchartrain Bridge?A short fic of Caleb saving Nick instead of Brynna





	

**Author's Note:**

> The scene where Nick references the consideration of suicide is in Infamous when he's talking to Brynna, saving her like she saved him.
> 
> I might to another fic from Caleb's side of this "AU" since he was guarding Nick for Adarian at the time.  
> I also apologize if this isn't that good or realistic. I've just been wondering what Nick and Caleb's relationship would be like if Caleb had "saved" Nick's life instead of Brynna.

Nothing mattered anymore.

No matter how hard he tried, no one ever believed him or gave him a chance. Kicked, beaten, and laughed at constantly, there was no one who cared enough about him to step in and help. As much as he didn’t want to ask for help, he wanted someone to be kind enough to smile genuinely at him, or help him to his feet, or just say hello to him. Nothing. No one care. He didn’t fit in with the wealthy kids at this school who could afford to buy solutions to their problems. He stuck out like a sore thumb.

In the silence, he heard their voices.

_Worthless…_

_White trash…_

_Stupid…_

_Son of a whore…_

_Disgusting…_

_Failure…_

_You are nothing…_

They were right, those damned voices. He was nothing. He was absolutely worthless. If he just blipped out of existence right then and there, sitting alone in the cafeteria, no one would notice.

His mother would be better off without him. It was his fault her parents disowned her. It was his fault that she worked at the club. Her weeping constantly echoed in his ears, right behind the voices. And then there was his father—the good-for-nothing criminal who didn’t even want him. With a parent who wanted nothing to do with you and a parent who would have a better life without you, Nick Gautier wasn’t sure why he even tried anymore.

Rising from his lonely seat, the table in front of him spotless of any food since he was too poor to pay for lunch, he walked out of the cafeteria. The hallways were devoid of life, students either in class or at lunch. Swallowing hard, he went for his locker. Then he remembered there was nothing of any value in the tiny space granted to him for storage by the school. He placed his forehead on the cold metal, hand already on the dial. The tiny scars on the sides of his fingers caught his eye. Afraid of his mother’s reaction to seeing evidence of self-destruction, Nick decided that the sides of his fingers were the best places to hide them in plain sight. If she ever saw them, the excuse would be simple. A paper cut. His fingers slipped while doing the dishes…something like that.

_Worthless._

_Disappointment._

_The world would be a better place._

The world would be a better place. He was wasting air by existing.

Pushing himself off of the locker, he took a few steps back, staring at the paint chipping off the door. He was hesitating, hoping that someone would come out of somewhere and…what? What was he hoping for? If no one had come forward yet, no one ever would.

Let it end.

Let the pain end.

He wanted to cry but there was nothing left in him.

He turned and walked out the door, down the streets, all the way to the Pontchartrain Bridge. The water below glittered in the midday sun. This was it, he’d remove the pain in his life and his mother’s life by taking one more—

“Gautier.”

His heart stopped. No…He turned at the sound of his last name. Standing there was the most popular kid in the whole school.

“If you’re here to push me off, there’s no need. I’m going to jump on my own.” Nick spat.

“Why would you want to do that?”

Nick let out a short, humorless laugh. “I know you’re busy being on top of the food chain at school, but those of us on the bottom are in so much pain and I’m done. I’ve had it. Everyone’s right, so just…leave.”

Caleb Malphas tilted his head. “I get it, Nick. But how would your mother feel if you threw yourself off this bridge right here and now?”

“She would be better off.”

“No. She’d be heartbroken.” Caleb tells him, stepping closer with this hands in his pockets. “Nick, I’m sure she loves you. Trust me when I say that I know what it’s like to not be loved by either parent, and from what I’ve seen, your mother loves you deeply. Going through with this would tear her apart.”

Caleb moved a little closer. Nick wasn’t positive where this was coming from. The only things Caleb had ever said to him were about football and getting his ass out of the way so he could reach his locker. They weren’t friends, but at least Caleb had never said anything horrible to him. The guy actually hated Stone as much as Nick did.

“And how do you think the other people in your life who care about you would feel? They love you, Nick. There are some out there who want to talk to you, in fact.”

Nick snorted derisively, “I doubt it.”

“It’s true. Brynna Addams really wants to talk to you. I’m sure if she saw you today at lunch she would’ve sat with you.”

Nick was silent for a moment. “Where was she?”

“Family business. Brynna wasn’t even at school today.” Caleb paused, thinking something over. “I actually think you can be entertaining from time to time, Gautier.”

“Where were you at lunch?”

Caleb gave him a half smile—that damned award-winning half smile. Nick began to consider if Caleb even took the entrance exam and instead smiled at everyone. “I was talking to coach about the upcoming game and possibly benching Stone. I got there a minute before you got up. I watched you leave the cafeteria and wander the halls. Wasn’t sure what you were up to so I didn’t approach. I followed you here.”

Nick studied his perfect face. Something was being left out of the story. He just couldn’t tell what it was exactly. “You’re not afraid of becoming a social outcast if you’re near me? Not afraid of becoming worthless?”

“You’re not worthless.”

“That’s easy to say coming from you. You’ve got it all. Looks, money—” _I know what it’s like to not be loved by either parent_. As he looked at Caleb, he realized that maybe none of that mattered to him. There was something inside of Caleb that he kept hidden from the world and it became clear to Nick that he was picking up on something Caleb didn’t even know he was letting out.

Nick shook his head. “I want the pain to stop.”

Caleb nodded. “I understand that. It won’t all go away immediately, but if you’re willing, I want to help stop the pain. I can’t do that if you let go completely.” He held out his hand to Nick. “Let me help you.”

_Worthless. The world would be better off without you. White trash…_

_No._

_Trash is something you throw out. I haven’t been thrown out._

The skin of Caleb’s hand was warm and his grip was tight.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a line from Lost Cause by Imagine Dragons


End file.
